Parseltongue

The following is unedited from the re-telling to my friend Molly in gchat.

My bathtub drain has been clogged and getting worse since my birthday. I kept trying to work on it, but with continued failure.

So I had been taking showers infrequently and giving myself a whore's bath in the sink on days that there was still standing water in the tub.

I didn't want to call the landlord because I was SURE I could fix this on my own.

So after taking a shower Wednesday morning I sighed as the water kept piling up and thought. I'll try one more time and then I'm going to call the landlord.

I came home from the halfday of work with a ginormous bottle of liquid plumber. I pulled back the curtain and saw, again, standing water. Another deep sigh and I leaned forward, pouring in the bottle and hoping that it would loosen up, what had to be hair.

After doing so I started to pull the shower curtain liner out of the water and saw a skinny black tail wiggle waggle towards the far end of the tub.

Knowing exactly what it was I said, "You've got to be kidding me. No, no, oh my God no, snake, ew, snake, ah, snake." Calmly backing out of the bathroom I retreated to my dining room so I could see the bathroom, but not be in it.

I had my phone on me, per usual, and called Dany to have a mild panic attack to. She didn't answer. I called her again. She didn't answer.

I tried to reason with myself that the snake wouldn't hurt me and that I could go in there and get it and throw it outside.

Reasoning failed.


I then reverted to a small child and decided to call my psuedo-boyfriend Andy. Ashley answered his phone and I calmly said, "Can I share something with you, but you can't make fun of me?"

"Sure."

"There is a snake in my bathtub and snakes are my irrational fear and I really would love for Andy to come over and get it out of the tub."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Aw, we're not in town. We're at a restaurant near home."

I nodded and started to go through other people I knew who could deal with a snake. "Ah, okay."

"Well, text me when you get it all figured out."

I instantly called Krisana, she answered all chipper as a person who had been on vacation for five days would. "Hey, are you at home?"

"No, I'm at my sister's." My mind started to race, her sister in Warrensburg or her sister in Blue Springs?

"Okay, is John at home?"

"Yes, why?"

"Ah, well there is a snake in my bathtub, and you know snakes are-"

"Your irrational fear animal, yeah oh man."

"Yeah, so do you think John could-"

"Oh no, I'll come over John's irrational fear animal is snakes too."

I thanked her profusely and then called Dany in the meantime so I had someone to talk to.. during that time I edged out of my house onto my side porch and called Bandit to me (I was worried he's want to drink the bath water that had liquid plumber in it).

I hung up and called Krisana back. She just had made it back in town. Bandit started to walk down the hallway so I had to go back inside. I quickly shut the door to the bathroom and was able to sit by my computer where my lunch had been sitting for an hour getting cold.

Krisana stopped at her house and hung up with me to get her 'getting a snake out of your tub' supplies.

I distracted myself by eating my somewhat cold lunch a bit.

Then the Calvary arrived with a mop bucket in one hand and a garden tool in the other.

She went into the bathroom and I heard an exasperated, "Oh my God, Brenda."

I realized this snake must be a little snake, but I yelled, "Is it or is it not a snake?"

"It's just a little baby snake."

To which my brain then said, "Oh a little baby snake, you know where one little baby snake is there are sixty of them. No wonder your drain is clogged with snakes!"

Krisana lifted it out with her hand and took it outside.

She came back in and we tried to talk through my anxiety a bit. I said, "So how many other baby snakes do you think are down there?"

She winced and said, "You went there huh? I hoped you wouldn't."


"Well you said baby snake and it's not like they hatch alone."
- -
Epilogue
No other snakes have arisen from my drain.

The drain did not unclog with just liquid plumber, my landlord had to come over.

Later that night when I went into the bathroom, I sat down on the toilet and my brain said, "What if there is a snake in the toilet."

I groaned and yelled aloud, "Really? Come on self!"

Ceasing Ramble.

Character Roles

I'm a character.

Some say a cartoon character.

Some say a nerd or geek type.

Some say a comedienne.

Some say a sarcastic bitch.

Some say a sounding board.

It's something that I've crafted over years and is centered around entertaining people. I rarely break character.

There are things that are expected out of me by friends, family, colleagues, students and I will play the role... usually even if I don't feel the part.

During a drive along Highway 50 as the country rolled out ahead of me I wondered if I had become so good at playing this character that I had lost myself in it.

To a point I think I have and when I reflect I will put myself into those roles on how to react, how to act, and how to be.

In acting class we learned about acting with a mask on and when you can make that mask come alive and you see the faces moving through words and overt body language.

The Greeks would be proud.

Ceasing Ramble.

Time Warp 2010: Halloween

I had taken a lot of pictures of my costume prep this year for Halloween so I thought I'd put them up on here for the sake of 'Look what I did!'

Halloween is taken very seriously with my group of friends. We go all out, we sew, we go for minute detail.

After last year's Kevin the bird from Up I decided that I was going to go comfortable next Halloween.

So in February I decided upon Dr. Arizona Robbins from Grey's Anatomy. It would require me to grow my hair for the remainder of the year (the hardest portion of the costume process).

I had a plan to piece together bits through the year so I wouldn't be rushing in October to finish it all up. This worked a bit. I purchased Heely's in July and didn't learn how to use them.

I went to Joann's fabric and got the fabric for the scrub cap and the press ons for the coat... and then just forgot about it until September.

Then the sewing, buying of the lab coat, embroidery, etc. started to happen in a whirlwind.

So I cut the four fabrics into 3" by 3" square-ish pieces.



Then began sewing together strips to sew together. This took the longest amount of time. Granted I only sew once a year (for Halloween), but it took me roughly eight hours of statements like this: "How do I fill the bobbin again?" "No! You're supposed to be facing!" "Damn you, you damn thread, damn you to Hades!"



But it turned out pretty nice.



Then came the embroidery on the coat, I did not do this, it was machine embroidery at one of the places in town. I brought in screen shots and print outs of blown up sections of Arizona's coat and we worked together to get text that made me happy.



There is a typo, it drives me crazy. I looked back at the items I gave the nice lady and I saw it was her typo. Oh well.




I rushed to get the other pieces of my costume together. The navy scrubs, the heart necklace, the PEDS stethoscope, the silver watch, my fake ID badge (which I can't not laugh at it was pasted to my Health Insurance card) and of course dying my hair.



There were many different 'wearing of the costume' as I knew it would get hot.

In the meantime I convinced my work spouse to dress up as "Gauze Paws" Callie and we had a fun time at the party.



The beginning of the evening "nice hair" photo.




Already getting warm, possibly due to my own martini bar I was working for guests. So the transition phase. The fuzzy due to being taken on a phone by an inebriated person.



Nice cameras take pretty photos! (For more on the party see Nik's blog.)



With my favorite webcomic zombie. There are other pictures of the night that I found on my phone that are going to stay on my phone.

While I did practice on the Heelys I never felt fully comfortable with them and nearly died on the hardwood floor twice that night, but just having them on felt right. Until I took them off, hid my socks somewhere that I would be sure to find them the next day... and wound up curled up asleep on a couch.

Fantastic party, because Beth always throws the best Halloween parties.


Ceasing Ramble.

I Feel Like This is Progress

Tonight I got swept in tons of conflicting emotions that I'm not going to go into here because they're stemming from so many facets of my life that I still don't understand what is going on in my brain wrinkles...

But, the point is instead of wallowing in food and sitting on my ass.

I got up and ran.

Yes, Kamiah... you read that right. I ran, granted it was on my treadmills programmed burst program - where you put in your weight, calories want to burn, and time in doing it... and it modulates walking, jogging, running for bursts of time.

But after nearly 1.75 miles I was above the mark on calories and I felt better.

Thank you endorphins.

Also, I've decided if I was too lazy to blog about the workout, it didn't happen, therefore I don't get to count it towards EXP achievements. Suck it self. Be more disciplined with writing.

Forgive the more than usual stream of consciousness herein.

Miles Walked: 12.045
Circuit Training
Beginner: 1 set - 3
Beginner: 2 sets - 2